Mother trying to control an already responsible 20 year old...???

I'm home at my parents home on a 2 month winter break. I can't afford to live anywhere else, but living here is hell. my mom tries to control everything i do and wants to know EVERYTHING from who's calling when my cell phone rings to what movie I watched at a friends house, not in the just interested way, but in the overly controlling way, disapproving when she deems necessary. When I stay out past 11pm, she acts pissed off (not concerned over my safety, but like it's some shitty game where she's a sore loser). Honestly i would understnad if i were very noisy when I came home or somewhere not safe, but all i'm doing is watching movies at friends houses and having my sober friends drive me home. I'm practically a mouse here and am feeling more of a desire to pull away than to be closer to her. How do I get the point across?? I'm about to have a mental breakdown because i'm so stressed about what she'll disapprove of next..

Mother trying to control an already responsible 20 year old...???binoculars

you sound like a great young women think maybe next time you come for a visit you might make arrangements to stay with one of your friends your Mom will have a fit but she will soon realize you are a young Lady and responsible too she might let up on you just to have you home. we moms have a difficult time seeing our girls as women in our eyes you are always our baby we do throw fits when we have to let go even a little. you do have to do this! Good Luck....

Mother trying to control an already responsible 20 year old...???violin opera theater

LOL! It took me to 25 to get past that, seriously honey it's just "family belonging hangover" (FBH). In my experience, by 25 she'll start treating you like a real adult, though if continues past that then lay down the law. And once she begins to treat you like an adult, you'll wish you had FBH all over again. And you will have learned a valueable lesson. Remember FBH when you have kids yourself...
Can you get a job for a month while on winter break? Then maybe you can save up enough money to go on a trip somplace for another month. And you wont be home all the time while you work.

It sounds like your mom has a lot of time on her hands and also is not feeling loved. I know it's the last thing you want to say but maybe you can tell her you love her more often, and but that her incessant asking you of things is pushing you away from her and making you resent her? Is your dad around? Maybe you can try talking to your dad and asking him to ask her to let off a bit. Or if you have a sister, she could probably talk to her as well.
At age 20 you are going to need a little gentle role reversal here. Treat your mother with the kind of respect and patience you WISH she ahd always treated you with when she was training you in things like performing household chores without prompting or accepting that the household budget just wasn't to cover that 'must have' item all your friends had.

Ask gentle, probing, open ended questions like "Did you expect to be back home at some particular time? Why did you expect that? Is there something I can do so that you won't be so upset when I stay out late?" Notice that "well just don't stay out late" isn't one of the option you make available to mom. If mom is in a position where she feels like she has no control at all over what is going on under he own roof, she is going to be a resentful lady, looking for things to gripe about. If she feels that you have consulted her to negotiate a compromise, she is much more likely to accept that compromise in good faith. She no longer has the kind of authority she had when you were 16. But since you are living under her roof, you do have a certain obligation to keep her somewhat informed about your doings so that she doesn't worry. Even when you are 45 and she is 65, she will still worry if you go the the supermarket and are gone more than an hour. To her, you will always be a helpless 3 year old. That will never change, so just mellow out and prepare to deal with another 40 or 50 years of it.

If I had to sum all this up, it would be "You're going to have to play the adult here and find a kind, adult way to keep this from developing into a power struggle between you and mom."
you have a mom who cares, you should be thankful
Ok, Im sorry but to your parents you are still a child and no matter what age you are they will always instill rules on you.

I'm 25 and my mom still tells me what to do everytime I visit and stay over her house.

YOu could get into an argument with your mom, it seems like your dad may be the "lesser of the two evils" so why not try to talk to him? I am sure he will understand more than your mom.

If all else fails then just avoid her tactics! What is she going to do, kick you out? She won't do that. she just can't accept that you are growing up and is reverting back to her parental ways of control.

good luck.
you should appreciate her afforts...she loves you...i don't have a mom...i'm sad to be me...
I think you should talk to your mom very carefully though. Make sure you get it across that you love her and understand that she only wants the best for you, but that you are an adult now and most of the time you do not live with her so you have become accustomed to your own ways. Tell her that you appreciate all she has teached you through childhood and that you think she raised you to be independent and smart and that it is time that she let you do your thing and it is time to go out into the world and spread your wings. You want to do all of this without pissing her off and it will work even better if she can look at it as a compliment. Good Luck

P.S. worst case scenario it is only 2 months and it'll go by fast, before you know it you will have 2 kids, a wife, a mortgage and you will wish this was your worst problem.
get use to it dear as it never ends its because she cares and loves you and is looking out for your own best interest.

on the contrary try sitting her down and asking her why she feels the need to redicule you about the things you do when you are doing nothing wrong prove to her that you are independant maybe thats what she wants to see then she will stop but then again some mothers like to think they rule the earth and thats when you have to stop them in there tracks and let them know that you are old enough and mature enough to stand on your own two feet and make your own decisions.maybe its time for you to flea the nest and go on your own you have a right to live your own life just like mom does.hope this helops good luck
It looks like your mom misses you and is a little lonely, try to do things with her when your not with your friends, Maybe she wont be so all over you and clingy then when your with you friends.